Life in Japan: Work After the Schools Close

With no school lunch, I decided to make my own work lunches every day this month.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to participate in a large performance production in Aomori, called Hachinohe ファンタジー (Fantasy). I performed a traditional Japanese dance with my dance teacher’s group. Last year we performed in a large hall with many people. It was very busy. This year, it was a smaller hall, yet less than half the seats were filled. The difference from last year deepened the feeling of melancholy of the past week in Japan for me. 

If you have been keeping up with the news in Japan, you will know that we just completed the first week of schools being closed early for spring break across the nation due to the worldwide virus outbreak. As my job is an assistant language teacher, this closure means I do not have any classes to teach, so therefore not much work to do. Luckily, I am hired by my town office and they have me come into work everyday to sit at a desk and make myself busy. So technically I still have work, but I lost my purpose. 

My first reaction to the news on Thursday night on February 27th was doubt. The situation seemed unreal to me. Everyone was as surprised as me the next morning at junior high school. The teacher I work with at that school told me to just teach the classes with her as usual. There was no decision yet what the school would do. It wasn’t until lunchtime that my work life became clearer. I got an email from my supervisor telling me that from Tuesday I will come to the board of education at the town office every day during my work hours. All the schools will be closed. The teachers will still be there working, but without any students. 

I spent that weekend still in the state of unreal. It reminded me of Hogwarts in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when they decide to close the school for an indefinite time. I had a similar feeling. The uncertainty. The sudden change. To distract myself over that weekend, I made graduation gifts and messages for my students I would see the following Monday, the last day of school. While I could work productively, my mind was still in turmoil. I could not process the situation. It was still so unreal to me. That’s when my new habit started: Obsessively checking the news and Facebook. 

I usually glance at the news or look things up with I’m curious about something, usually less than once a day. For the past week, I have checked it daily, often five or more times. Time is strange. It waits for no one, so if I am checking the news constantly, I do not have time for other things. So naturally I was not very productive my first week of desk work. 

If my life were moving as usual, this second week of March I would not have many classes anyway. Spring break normally starts early for me. The past couple years I looked forward to having more time on my hands to prepare for the coming school year. This year, however, I lack the same motivation. I have over two years of lesson plans to organize. The folders of worksheets and pictures on my computer are a bit of a mess. I can do my taxes. I can study Japanese. There are plenty of tasks for me to do during this long spring vacation. This school cancellation has affected me in more ways than just work. It has gotten to my subconscious and is limiting my motivation. 

I had the thought the other day that it would be nice to fast forward to when schools open up again, whenever that will be. This stress of not feeling busy yet knowing I have stuff to do (and then letting time slip away as I check Facebook and the news), is a bit much for me. It would be nice to resume regular life again. Shortly after I had that thought, it occurred to me that is not what I actually want. I am here to experience life. I have moved to a foreign country and I have experienced a lot of change and the feeling of instability. Things change out of my control, but I still have things within my control. Even if I can’t enjoy planning my usual spring break vacation to some warmer destination in Japan, I can find something else to make my life and time worthwhile. I just need to find it and keep going. 

So this week can be better if I put in the effort and change my mind about the situation.Outside circumstances can change my sense of stability and can initiate stress, but there are still things in my control. I know that how I spend my time is mostly my own choice. There are things I cannot do, of course. For example, traveling may not be a smart idea. However, there are many things that I can do. I can write, I can study, and I can build up my skills. I can keep making delicious lunches (see my Instagram) because I have some extra time. I can stop wasting these precious moments on constantly reading news sites and Facebook and use that time to read something more productive and inspiring. Then I can share what I learn to inspire other people. Life will sort itself out eventually. I can trust that and keep moving forward.I want to experience life.