I love it! I’m happy here. Why am I complaining about the cold all winter but still happy about it? It is fun to complain about the cold. It has been two years, two cold winters, and I cannot imagine leaving yet. Where do I live? I live in Aomori Japan.

Over two years ago I got an email stating where my job was placing me in Japan. When I read “Aomori,” my first reactions were, “Where is that? I think it is up north. It’s probably going to be cold. Oh dear.” I remember a momentary sinking feeling in my heart. I do not like the cold. But it only lasted a moment. I had never been there, so how could I know what it was like? I came with only a few expectations of what my life might be like, and they have all been turned around. The unexpected is what makes life worth living. I am currently content with the unexpectedness of my life now.

I would like to discuss contentment. Contentment is being happy with where you are at and what you are doing in the moment. It has its positive side with being at peace with your situation, but the negative side of this is not moving forward to learn new things and have experiences that can help you grow. Always being content is not practical nor desirable. The key is to find balance with contentment and seeking for more. Finding this balance may mean working towards goals but keeping low expectations for the outcomes so you will not be disappointed. But more so, the key to finding contentment is testing it to discover that what you already have is what you brings you joy.

Do I naturally love where I live or have I learned to love it? I could not choose where I wanted to work in Japan for this job. I did not have much preference anyway because I was only familiar with the large cities like Tokyo, Osaka, Yokohama, and Kyoto. That sinking feeling did not come from being placed in the prefecture of Aomori, but from having no idea what to expect. I was throwing myself into the unknown. Since I came to Japan, I have taken the school vacations to travel to other parts of Japan. It is as if I am still seeking where I want to be in Japan, or even where in the world I fit in. The slight feeling of discontentment and curiosity leads me to continue visiting new places. But then after a week of being away from home, I come back to Aomori and feel more content with my life again. This feeling is the knowledge that I am where I am meant to be for now. I have learned to love my situation by testing out other places and experiences and coming back to what I already have.

Apparently I love my life wherever I have lived so far in it, which is not many places. This idea is something I knew myself, but it was not apparent to me until other people started pointing it out. When I talk about Utah, where I’m from, one friend has commented that I must really have loved it there and I must want to go back. Yes, that’s true. Then on my travels around Japan, other people have commented that I seem to love my life in Aomori. They are surprised. Aomori is well known for the Nebuta festival, apples, its strange dialect, and then being very much a countryside area with a decreasing population. Many people I have talked to across Japan have never been here unless they were passing through to Hokkaido. Apparently I give it glowing praise without realizing what I’m doing.

Now that multiple people have pointed out my apparent love for the places I have lived and live now, I know two things. The first is that I am an open book when I start talking about what I love. My interest shows through. The second is that I must be experiencing contentment. I thought that I was a restless soul still trying to find purpose and where I belong. That is why I came to Japan, because there is some mystery that still drives me forward. That is why I continue to travel so much in Japan. But then I always come back to Aomori. I will have to leave someday and find a new job. Then it will have a place in my heart just as Utah still does. Wherever I go next will become my new home. 

I live simultaneously in contentment and restlessness. I will have my life no other way. My heart currently lives in Aomori. Where does your heart live?